Bill Watterson once said, “Happiness isn’t good enough for me, I demand euphoria!” Now it wasn’t too long ago that we as a society were content with happiness; most of us strived to be happy, actually. But now, the stakes have risen. Mere happiness is not good enough. No, we must have euphoria. We long for it now, doing anything just for a little taste of what it’s like to be on “Cloud 9.” Is this reasonable though? Is demanding euphoria a realistic way to live life? Is it unfair to demand so much from life, which can often be so bleak? The Cambridge dictionary describes euphoria as “extreme happiness, sometimes more than is reasonable in a particular situation.”
So is the pursuit of euphoria unreasonable?
In the new HBO hit Euphoria, we follow a group of teenagers in their quest for euphoria. Rue is a 17 year old drug addict who is fresh out of rehab. Jules is a transgender girl who craves the affection of men. Kat is a slightly overweight girl who is as insecure as they come. Maddy is a girl with an unhealthy love for her abusive boyfriend. And Nate is Maddy’s boyfriend who deals with anger issues and questions about his sexuality. These main characters are all chasing after their own specific “euphoria”, but not from within. These characters focus on external things to fill their needs, ranging from drugs, sex, or the need for love; our characters chase the elusive “euphoric state” relentlessly, trying any and everything to get even just a little taste.
“I was repeatedly crushed by the cervix of my mother Leslie. I put up a good fight, but I lost.” These are some of the first words spoken by Rue, the lead character and narrator. This immediately let us know she doesn’t want to be in this world. Indeed, she never wanted to be exposed to the world. But it also lets us know that intrinsically Rue is a fighter and that perhaps her greatest struggle takes place internally. Rue chasing euphoria seems empty from the start; even when she wants to be happy, she’d rather be dead. She doesn’t care if she dies in her quest for euphoria because she didn’t want to live in the first place. This is apparent in the opening scene, where we see her coming home from rehab and going straight to her drug dealer. Her quest for euphoria initially took her down the path of drug use, but it’s never enough, the craving for just one more second in a euphoric state drove her to drug abuse. Even when she allegedly stops doing drugs, she is not healthy. She replaces her external drug addiction with a singular addiction for another person. Jules becomes her “drug,” which is, in many ways, equally unhealthy. For a fleeting moment, Rue feels like she has found euphoria. But Jules doesn’t love Rue the same way that Rue loves her, and eventually, euphoria turns to heartbreak. And when that happens, Rue is miserable.
One of our first moments with the character Jules was her strange sexual encounter with Nate’s father, Cal. She lies about both her age and where she lives in order to have sex with a man she doesn’t even know. When he uncovers the truth, Cal tells her, “There are 2 versions of you. You can either go someplace where you’re wanted for who you are, or you can stay in a town like this. End up like me, living your life out in motel rooms.” The overlying problem is that Jules doesn’t know who she is. She can’t fathom a life where she would be accepted for who she really is, once she figures it out herself. Her trust issues run so deep that she puts on disguises and can’t even trust herself. This lack of trust stems from her mother taking her to a mental institution, unbeknownst to her, to address Jules’ gender dysphoria. Jules doesn’t even trust herself because she feels like she was born into the wrong body. So her quest for euphoria consists of hooking up with random guys she talks to online to feel good about herself. This comes into full effect when the guy she has been texting non-stop (secretly Nate Jacobs) doesn’t even show her what he looks like. And despite that, she is “in love” with this imaginary person anyway. She doesn’t care what he looks like, because he helps her with her insecurities. That’s why when Nate texts her, telling her to meet him by a lake, she blindly does it, despite Rue’s warning that this person could try to kidnap her or kill her. Blinded by her trust issues and insecurities, Jules’ quest for euphoria is to cover those any way possible; ultimately, though, this quest leaves her less trusting than ever.
“There is nothing sexier than a fat chick who doesn’t care at all.” When Kat uttered these words, I realized she wasn’t just insecure, she was a liar as well. Being overweight and having hot friends led to the insecurities that plague Kat. Her quest for euphoria is one of self confidence6, and being comfortable with herself. Kat does her best to try and convince herself that she is beautiful and she doesn’t need others to feel confident about herself. The thing is, her way of feeling self confident is through wearing slutty clothes for shock value, become a cam girl so others can call her sexy, becoming a dominatrix so she can have others do what she says, and having sex with random guys so she can feel accomplished. This is on full display when she goes on a date with the kind, lovable Ethan. She is having a great time with her new friend/potential boyfriend until she finds him talking to a beautiful, tall blonde girl. Instead of wondering what they are talking about or brushing it off and realizing she’s on a date him with and this is probably just a friend, she rushes to the worst conclusion possible. As Kat storms off in rage the camera pans to Ethan and this girl…talking about harmless things like the girl’s sister. To cope with this feeling of insecurity, Kat finds a guy who used to be a legend at her school and then proceeds to have sex with him. Kat’s insecurities lead to her ditching one of the only good guys on the show and having sex with random guys. She measures her worth with how others, especially men, view her. She puts on a facade, a literal mask to try and prove to people she doesn’t care what they think and loves herself, yet this shows the exact opposite. In her quest for euphoria, Kat chases self security, yet she becomes more insecure than ever.
Imagine what the queen of your highschool looks like. Probably a cheerleader, beautiful, has every guy and their brother chasing after her. Now multiply that by 100 and you get Maddy. Maddy has one of the most “baddest b*tch” personas on television. From the outside looking in, her life couldn’t get any better. Cheerleader, beautiful, good looking boyfriend, she has it all, doesn’t she? Well, there is one thing. One thing that completely takes over her persona, her unhealthy, undying love for her abusive boyfriend, Nate Jacobs. The boy who has literally killed for her could very well end up being the death of her. Her relationship is summed up pretty well in a scene after he chokes her out, leaving bruises all along with her, the narrator says, “She wasn’t crying because of what he did, she was crying because no matter what he did, she knew she’d still love him.” Maddy loves Nate, and even though he had abused her and has unhealthy anger issues, she continues to love him because he gives her a sense of security. She doesn’t have a healthy example of a relationship, her mom is married to a drunk who does nothing but sit and watch TV all day, and her mom doesn’t care to say anything. Her mom’s complacency has led Maddy to deal with whatever Nate does because “he loves her.” She needs him, she thinks her only way to experience euphoria is to have a boy who clearly is unhealthy for her. She doesn’t care though, she will do anything to protect him. Her quest for euphoria revolves around an abusive boyfriend, she would like nothing more than to be on an object that Nate owns, and she will try and tell herself that she is happy, but she lies to herself every time.
As we were introduced to Nate, we quickly realized he was going to be a douchebag, what we didn’t realize was that he was going to be a sociopath who is angry at the world and everyone in it. Nate is somehow the most hateable and the most complex characters on the show. At points he comes across as a modern day Ramsay Bolton, being the textbook definition of pure evil. Other times, you sympathize with him and hope he can figure himself out. One of the defining traits of Nate is his attempt to be so overly masculine it’s annoying, but why does he do this? Insecurities about his sexuality lead him to try and compensate to be the man that his dad bred him to be. He shares insecurities about his sexuality with his father and will go above and beyond to keep it a secret. These deep seeded issues cause this anger, this lashing out at the world to accept who he truly is. Since he can’t come to terms with his own self, he must destroy others so they can share in his misery. We see this on full display during his interactions with Jules over the phone. Texting for days on end, she makes him feel good, he truly cares about her, but he can’t show feelings or emotions, only rage. His conflictions make him angry, and when he wants to ruin Jules life, she saved the nudes she sent him. It’s a cruel thing to do to someone he cares about, but that’s the thing, Nate can’t show love or affection in a positive way. The same way as he tries to prove to Maddy that he loves her by killing. His quest for euphoria is filled with him trying to fill the void he has with others, yet when he can’t show his love or feelings for others, he shows anger.
In a way, this show is darkly ironic. A show with the title Euphoria, yet each character is miserable and empty on the inside. As each character tries to reach euphoria they try and fill their lives with outside things in an attempt to produce something they could only dream of, happiness. This goal of reaching some sort of unworldly level of happiness fills the lives of each character. None of these characters truly feel that they can experience this level of happiness on their own terms. It has to be on the terms on outside objects, their lives depend on these things, they revolve around them. Unhealthy or not, this goal of euphoria is ultimately unreachable in the path that each character is taking. The fact of the matter is, euphoria isn’t achievable unless you are truly, 100 percent content with who you are. The show Euphoria is a take on society, a world of fakers trying to fill their lives with something, anything to make them experience euphoria, but they are grasping at air. An unreachable goal that everyone believes they can aquire is a dangerous thing.
People will go to any length to reach this goal, and it doesn’t matter who they hurt or how bad something is, if they can get just a taste of this heavenous experience, they will, and even though it may feel good in the moment, it ends up being an Empty Euphoria.
